Why I No Longer Believe in Jesus(A Torah Keeper’s Journey From Christianity to Tanach Only)

Why I No Longer Believe in Jesus(A Torah Keeper’s Journey From Christianity to Tanach Only)

This is a blog post that I never thought I would make. I have been a Christian my whole life. I grew up in a strong Christian family. I went to Church all while growing up. Even though I became a Torah Keeper 7 years ago, I have always believed in Jesus as the promised Messiah of the Hebrew Bible and as my savior, and deliver. So no longer believing in him as those things is something new and different, but it’s a path that I wholeheartedly believe is true, right, and Biblical. 

I just want to say right at the beginning, I will not stop producing content, I just want to explain how my beliefs have changed and how that will influence how I will write about the Bible and understand the scriptures.

Life as a Christian- filled with confusion and doubt

Growing up in the church, the trinity is a major core belief. Jesus’ status as fully divine and fully man was always preached about and of course, his place as the savior of the world which is the vehicle for the forgiveness of our sins. Without him, we cannot get to the Father, we can’t be saved, we cannot go the Heaven and have eternal life if we don’t call on his name and believe on him.

 As a Christian, I always had doubts. Like most Christians, I always wondered if I was truly saved, if I was doing enough as a Christian, if God truly forgave my sins, etc. You always aren’t sure what your standing before God was. The preachers always said – accept God’s forgiveness, find your identity in Christ, know that everything has already been done at Calvary – but what does that even mean? How do you find your identity in Christ? Like what are the steps? How do you know if you believed enough, trusted enough, hoped enough? Because Christianity expects so little of us as believers(just believe that everything has already been done and confess christ), there’s so much gray area and therefore a lot of room for the unknown, doubt, and uncertainty. 

On top of all that – when you are reading the New Testament there are things that sound weird but you just accept them because – “God’s ways are higher than ours”, “there are some things we just won’t understand”, etc. While that is true, if there are blatant contradictions or things that go against Torah, these concepts should not be swept under the rug of  “there are some things that just won’t make sense until we get to glory”. 

Things like 

Jesus tells us to eat his flesh and drink his blood in order to be reminded of him and his sacrifice for us. (Matthew 26: 26-28; John 6: 53-58)

We can’t get to the Father unless we go through Jesus (John 10:9; 14:6-7; Acts 4: 10-12; Ephesians 2: 18; 1 Timothy 2:5).

Our salvation depends on our belief, acceptance, and proclamation of someone other than Elohim (Acts 2:38; 4:10 -12; 16: 29 – 32; John 14: 6 – 7; Romans 10: 9 – 10). 

Jesus changed the law of Elohim and made them harder (Matthew 5: 21-22; 27-28; 31-39; 43-45).

God’s forgiveness of our sins is depended on our forgiveness of others (Matthew 5: 21 – 26; 6: 14 – 15).

The back-and-forth nature of Paul when it comes to the Law. Sometimes he’s for it and sometimes his against it and says it is a former schoolmaster that has been done away with (Romans 2: 12- 16; 25- 29; 3:31; 7:12; Galatians 5; 1 Timothy 5: 18; Colossians; Acts 21; Galatians 2:14 – 15; 1 Corinthians 9: 20). 

And many many more things. 

Our Journey Toward Torah Keeping

A few years ago it was clear to my family and me that we needed to be keeping the commandments. Simply for the fact that it was mentioned soooo many times in the Old Testament by Elohim and that they were to be kept forever.

It didn’t make sense to us that we would be keeping the commandments all the way up to the time of Jesus, then once he died on the cross and rose again, we stopped keeping the commandments, then in the millennium reign we will keep them again. Like why? We, like many of you, believe that the commandments noted in Leviticus are not only for the future but for now. We didn’t believe that we would be cursed like so many pastors preached from the pulpit, but that instead, they would be a blessing to us. We believed if anything, that our keeping them would bring us closer to Elohim because we practiced His commandments in faith. And they were and are great blessings to us! We drew closer as a family, we received so many more blessings and breakthroughs, and we understood the Bible sooo much better.

 It was during our beginning stages of being Torah keepers that I started this blog. I was researching, studying, and writing to help not only myself understand the feast days better but also to help the rest of my family. My goal was to learn everything I could about keeping the holy days from a strictly Biblical perspective. This passion leads me to share my Torah findings with my family. Since I already had the information, I posted it online so anyone who was new to this path and didn’t know where to start could hopefully get a better understanding of the Bible as well. 

Thank you to everyone who has commented, read, or received any encouragement from this blog. It has been amazing to hear from you guys. I’m not going anywhere!

Open tomb.

Journey out of Christianity Completely

At the beginning of this year, my mother and older sister had started discussing how in the book of Revelations how the Lamb (Jesus) was distinctly different from the one who sits on the throne(Elohim). The elders in heaven were worshipping the Father then when the lamb showed up they turned from worshiping the Father to worshipping the Lamb- right in front of the Father! No matter how many times the pastors preached that Jesus and the Father were one – this passage clearly shows that they are different and are worshipped differently. 

Revelations 4: 10 – 11: The four and twenty elders fall down before him that sat on the throne, and worship him that liveth forever and ever, and cast their crowns before the throne, saying, Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou has created all things, and for thy pleasure, they are were created.

5: 6 – 8: And I beheld, and, lo, in the midst of the throne and of the four beasts, and in the midst of the elders, stood a Lamb as it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God sent forth into the all the Earth. 7 And he came and took the book out the right hand of him that sat upon the throne. 8 And when he had taken the book, the four beasts and four and twenty elders fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps, and golden vials full of odor which are the prayers of the saints.

5: 13 – 14: And every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, an honor, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb forever and ever. 14 And the four beasts said, Amen, And the four and twenty elders fell down and worshiped him that liveth forever and ever.

My mother then started looking at Dr. Bart Ehrman’s videos which discussed how the New Testament was written based on tiny copies of parchment fragments, and how there aren’t any original copies of the New Testament, just many very tiny fragrant manuscripts. He went over how the book of Mark, which is agreed upon by most scholars as the basis of all the Gospels, was written from a fragment the size of a credit card. He talked about how all four gospels when read together can’t all be true at the same time because the stories present facts that cannot be true at the same time. How no one knows who wrote the Gospels and it was the first Irenaeus of Syrma an Early church father from the 2nd century who first placed the names several hundred years later (Wikipedia “Irenaus“). Bart walked through so many more contradictions in the bible and explained them – which was very helpful because we all have heard that there were contradictions in the Bible but no one explained them. So they are often disregarded as people who didn’t want to follow God in the first place.

Here are Christian sources who freely admit that the authors of the Gospels are unknown. I also included a link to the P52 manuscript- the earliest known canonical text of the New Testament.

(Zondervan Academic “Who Wrote the Gospels“)

(World History.org “The Gospels“)

(Ehrmanblog.org “Why Matthew Mark Luke and John?“)

(Wikipedia “p52“)

(Bible Archaeology Report “Earliest New Testament Manuscripts“)

Issues in the New Testament

The story of the resurrection at the end of Mark is agreed upon by most Bible scholars to have been added at a later date and wasn’t original to the book. And the story of the woman caught in adultery was later added as well! How many sermons have we heard about this story?!!? Oh my!

For me watching the videos was hard, because I really wanted to believe that the Gospels were true, I wanted to believe that Jesus was the Messiah, but it became increasingly clear that the New Testament and in particular the Gospels weren’t as reliable as we were lead to believe.  

This lead me to do my own research, I watched so many debates between Bart and other Christian scholars and they couldn’t refute the evidence that Bart presented- factual evidence. And in most cases, the Christian Bible scholars agreed with Bart! 

Here are a few more Christian sources that agree with the above statements. They openly admit that these stories were added at a later date.

(The Bible Project “The Missing End to Mark’s Gospel“)

(The Gospel Coalition “Was Mark 16: 9 – 20 Originally part of the Gospel of Mark?“)

(Biola University “Does it Belong in the Bible(Woman Caught in Adultery)“)

Open bible on table with a plant.

New Testament Compared Directly to the Old Testament

Then this leads us to compare the New Testament to the Old Testament. The side-by-side comparison shows very striking contradictions. A few are:

Jesus said to eat his flesh and drink his blood – but Elohim said that drinking blood is an abomination (Leviticus 3:17; 7:26-27; 17: 12 – 14; Deuteronomy 12: 16; 23 – 24). (Even if Jesus meant it symbolically if God didn’t want us to literally eat blood why would he be ok with us ‘symbolically’ drinking it?)

Jesus’ death is said to be an atonement for our sins, but Elohim said that a righteous man can’t die for the sins of another (Exodus 32: 30 – 35; Deuteronomy 24: 16; Psalms 49:7(KJV); Jeremiah 31: 29 – 30; Ezekiel 18: 1-4; 20 – 24; 26 – 28)

It is stated many times that Jesus is sitting or will sit at the right hand of the Father (Mark 16: 19; Acts 2: 32 – 33; Romans 8: 34; Colossians 3:1; Hebrew 1: 1 – 3) but Elohim said many times that there is no one beside him and that there is no other god but him(Exodus 20:3; Deuteronomy 4: 35; 32: 39; Isaiah 37: 16; 44:6; 45: 5-6;14 – 21; 46:9). 

We have to believe and proclaim Jesus in order to be saved (John 3: 16 – 18; 14: 6; Acts 4: 12) but Elohim said to not put our faith in any man. Jesus is repeatedly referred to as “son of man”(Matthew 8: 20; 16: 13; 20: 28; Luke 18:8; John 6: 53), while this is a generic term and one that is used all throughout the Old Testament, we were never to put our faith in our prophets as we would Elohim. Elohim said he was our only savior, deliver, and God. (Deuteronomy 32: 39; Isaiah 23: 12; Isaiah 43: 11; 45: 15; 22 – 24; Hosea 13:4 )

Revelations say Jesus is our temple and the Book of Hebrews says that Jesus ended the sacrificial system with his death and resurrection (Hebrews 8: 13; 10: 3 – 14; 19 – 20; Revelations 21: 22)*, but Ezekiel describes the third temple and the activities that will be going on there in the end times i.e the sacrifices, in great detail (Ezekiel 37 – 45). 

The messiah was never supposed to be a god or to be worshipped because we are not to worship anyone but Elohim. He is a man that will help to save Israel in the end times like all the other men that have been messiahs to Israel. Moses, Gideon, Samson, Ehud, Cyrus, and many others. Worshipping a man would again be against Torah = to idolatry = to having another god other than Elohim. 

*Revelations 11:1 (This temple seen by John is believed to be “symbolic of the body of believers” or referring to the second Temple before it was destroyed in 70 CE)

Isaiah 43: 10 – 11: Be ye my witnesses, and I am a witness, saith the Lord God, and my servant whom I have chosen: that ye may know, and believe, and understand that I am he: before me there was no other God, and after me there shall be none. 11 I am God; and besides me there is no savior.

Coming to the conclusion that the New Testament isn’t reliable and that Jesus is not the messiah, or god was hard. My mother and sisters were on board a lot sooner than me. I was really upset that my religion could be untrue and didn’t know what to think about it.  However, at the same time, I really wanted to worship Elohim properly and didn’t want to be doing something wrong. So I prayed about it, I studied scripture, and I continued to research the history of the New Testament. After a few weeks, I too saw that the New Testament was not reliable and that yes there was no one besides Elohim. I only believe in the Old Testament and not anything in the New Testament. And guys – a weight has been lifted off of me! 

Christianity is harder to follow

I didn’t realize how hard Christianity is to keep. The pastors say “oh it’s a relationship it’s not a religion”, Jesus said “my yoke is easy and my burden is light”, but it’s not. Yes, you accept Jesus as your lord and savior and you don’t have to keep the commandments in the Torah, which is easier, but you have to start keeping “new commandments” that are harder.

Sinning in your heart is equal to committing sin. Otherwise, you already committed the sin and are guilty before God (Matthew 5: 22; 28). (where is that in the Torah? That the thoughts of your heart are equal to you actually committing the sin? Yes, we are supposed to keep our hearts and minds pure and focused on God and his laws(Numbers 15: 37 – 41; Deteruonmy 6: 4-9; Joshua 1: 8; Psalms 1: 1-3; 19:14), but we weren’t punished for those thoughts on the same level as if we had already done them) Plus I believe this teaching contributes to a lot of Christians feeling unsure if they are truly saved because they are struggling with their thoughts and believe that they have already committed terrible sins.

Forgiving 7×70 times Mattew 18: 21 – 22. (Torah never said that we are supposed to have this open-ended forgiveness, God had a limit and we are supposed to as well(Exodus 23: 21; Deuteronomy 29: 20; 2 Kings 24: 3 – 4 ))

Not braiding my hair (1 Timothy 2: 9; 1 Peter 3: 3- 4; ). I’m black, guys. I have 4c hair. If I didn’t braid my hair, I wouldn’t have any hair. I wouldn’t be able to do my hair. Did Elohim say in the Old Testament that I can’t BRAID MY HAIR??? The hair that he made?

Not wearing jewelry or costly clothes. The apostles James and Peter said that our beauty shouldn’t be in what we are wearing but in our hearts and that we should be shamefaced. Where is that in Torah? God prided himself on how he provided for us in the Torah. How He caused our forefather’s shoes and clothes to be maintained in the wilderness(Deuteronomy 8:4; 29:5) And how he clothed us with beautiful clothes, jewelry, and stuff. Abraham, Issac, and Jacob our great forefathers were blessed immensely with material goods(Genesis 12: 2-3;13:2; 26: 12; Deuteronomy 7: 13; 8: 18; 11: 8 – 12). Were they any less godly because of what they had? (Proverbs 3: 16; 10:22; 22:4; Ecclesiastes 5:19; Ezekiel 16: 10 -14 )

In addition to not having to do these new commandments, I don’t have to worry about if I’m doing enough for God. Instead of trusting enough, believing enough, and trying not to doubt, everything is laid out in the Torah about how to worship God, I know what I’m supposed to do. As long as I try to follow the commandments of Elohim the best that I can, I know I am on the right path. Of course, I’m not doing everything perfectly, but that’s not what God expects of me, he expects me to follow the laws and commandments that he has written down in his Torah the best I can, with a pure heart. To change and follow him better the more I know about him and his laws. 

Leaves and branches near a river.

Righteous Through Keeping the Commandments Not Following Jesus

Following the Torah is my righteousness (Deuteronomy 6:25). How were Abraham, Issac, and Jacob righteous? David, Solomon, Samuel, Hezekiah, Daniel, Deborah, Ruth all the matriarch and patriarchs of our faith – how were they righteous? They were righteous because they followed and obeyed the commandments of Elohim. They tried to the very best of their abilities to follow Elohim with a perfect heart, did they fail yes, but did they get back up and continue on the path of righteousness, yes. Did Elohim honor them and bless them because of it, yes. 

That is all I’m trying to do. Living a Hebrew life one day at a time the very best that I can have always been the statement for this blog and for my Torah Keeping life. That is not changing, what is changing is that instead of idolatry instead of putting my faith in Jesus and Elohim, I’m dropping Jesus and just believing in Elohim, trusting in Elohim, and praying to Elohim alone. He is my only savior, deliver, hope and salvation. Shalom. 

Read More

Top Reasons Why My Family and I Don’t Believe in the Christian Messiah

Coming Out of Christianity Series

32 thoughts on “Why I No Longer Believe in Jesus(A Torah Keeper’s Journey From Christianity to Tanach Only)”

  • Dear young sister, I am a brother in The Word. I beg to differ with you. It is Christianity that is false, because they based their doctrine upon the writings of Paul, and not Yeshua. This is easy to see if you received the Ruach and not the spirit of deception. I cannot go into everything here, too much. I will leave you with this video link, I pray you take the time to view it, in it’s entirety as I provide the scripture which hopefully you will read. Take care


    • Hi brother Henry!

      Yes, Christianity did base the religion on the writings of Paul and not Yeshua. His writings contradict himself, Yeshua, and Elohim!

      My biggest question is did Elohim promise a messiah that would die in our place for our sins perpetually? Elohim said that couldn’t be done, and that everyone had to die for their own sins(Ezekiel 18). Yes, Yeshua said that he came in the name of Elohim but he changed the laws of Elohim and made them harder(Matthew 5:21-22; 27-28; 31-39; 43-45) which is against the Torah(Deuteronomy 12:32). Elohim also said there wasn’t anyone beside him and that he is the only God(Isaiah 37: 16; 43: 10 – 11; 45: 5; Exodus 20: 3; 34:14; Deuteronomy 32: 39). Elohim never said that we had to believe in someone else in order to be saved, he said instead that all we had to do was turn to Elohim with all our hearts, minds, and strength and do his commandments as outlined in the Torah(Deuteronomy 6: 1 – 9; Deuteronomy 13:3 – 5; Deuteronomy 10: 12- 13; Joshua 22:5; 1 Samuel 12: 20 – 25).

      Elohim is our only redeemer and savior (Isaiah 44:6; 43:10; Hosea 13:4) Doing the commandments is our salvation and our righteousness(Deuteronomy 6:25).

    • I am only half way through your article, but needed to comment on something that has been distracting me from the beginning on the reading. The book of Revelation is spelled without an s at the end. It is about a Revelation. THE Revelation of Jesus Christ. It just distracts me when someone is listing information they deem to be “factual” and make this mistake repeatedly. It has me question the validity of the speakers findings
      Hope this will be helpful to you

        • Psalm 2 comes to mind, when Elohim days to pay homage to the Son.
          Genesis 3:15, Isaiah 9 and 53 off the top of my head.
          I’m trying to understand how one could throw out the entire New testament. I was looking for help bringing the 2 together and how I would keep Torah without falling into bondage.This made me kinda sad.

        • Just curious here. I am on this same path/journey. How do you rectify the blood sacrifices required if Jesus wasn’t the sacrificial lamb? This is the only part I’m stuck on … thank you!

          • Hi April, that is so awesome to hear!

            Animal sacrifices can only be done inside the Tabernacle or Temple. Animal sacrifices were important when the Temple stood and they will be again when the 3rd Temple is built, but in its absence they cannot be done. I believe the importance of animal sacrifices- while important- have been overstated. Other offerings were required by God, such as flour offerings. Flour offerings were often given in place of animal/blood offerings (Leviticus 5: 11 – 13). If someone could not afford turtledoves for the sin offering they could bring flour as an offering for sin. Blood wasn’t the most important thing, but having a repentant heart was. Over and over again throughout the Old Testament God despised the animal sacrifices given by the Hebrews because they were given with a bad heart or they were doing idolatry too (Isaiah 55:7; Jeremiah 24: 7; Ezekiel 18: 21-23; Amos 5:22 -27).

            Forgiveness of sins and atonement isn’t just about blood – God is able (and willing!) to forgive us without it.

            King Solomon during the inauguration of the first Temple prophesies that while in captivity and in the absence of a Temple or away from it that we can pray and confess our sins and God is able and willing to forgive us (1 Chronicles 6: 36-39). The prophet Hosea also mentions that we wouldn’t be able to perform sacrifices for a while (Hosea 3:4-5), instead our prayers and the offerings of our lips are acceptable (Hosea 14:2-3). This is what King Manasseh did. He sinned soooo greatly that God brought it up every chance He got, but even Manasseh while he was in captivity prayed and begged God for forgiveness and God did and even brought him back to Jerusalem (2 Chronicles 33:10-13)!

            Even though animal sacrifices are important they are not the ONLY way for forgiveness and atonement for sins and especially without a Temple and most importantly an altar to sacrifice them on. As you know, JC was not sacrificed on an altar in the Temple by the priests of God. He also didn’t meet any of the requirements for a sacrifice and perpetual atonement and atonement on behalf of others is forbidden and unacceptable in Torah. Ezekiel 18 and Ezekiel 14: 12 -20 (in these verses God says He wouldn’t spare the land, the people nor the sons and daughters of Job, Daniel, and Noah on their behalf. He would only spare these 3 men from destruction, showing further that JC’s sacrifice could not be on behalf of others).

            Hope this helps! Feel free to email me or leave a message if you have any questions or want to talk further! Shalom aleichem!

  • PS, please read Psalms 22:15-20 and YishaYahu chapter 53…(Isaiah). The scripture was compromised, the Father tells us this when He says ; The lying pens of the scribes. Yet there is enough truth within the Tanakh and Yohanan,(John) and MatitYahu, (Matthew) to see clearly. You must have testimony or witness of two to three, right ? This is what you seek for. So the coming of Yeshua is clear to see throughout the Tanakh, I just provided two of the clearest. Shabbat Sholom

    • Yes Psalms 22: 15 – 20 was compromised when it was translated. In Hebrew- it should read “Like a lion, they were at my hands and my feet”. The rest of David’s description refers to his distress when dealing with his enemies.

      Isaiah 53 refers to Elohim’s servant – Israel or Jacob. In many places throughout the Bible Elohim refers to Jacob as “he”. The whole nation of Israel as a singular group. And his servant is Israel(Isaiah 41:8; 49:3; 44:1-2; 44:21; 45:4; 48:20; Jeremiah 30:10; 46: 27-28; Psalms 136:22).

      The Suffering Servant passage begins Isaiah 52: 13 and goes all the way through Isaiah 53: 12- the enemy nations of Israel and the Hebrew people are speaking. They are astonished at how much the Hebrews were suffering on their behalf. This passage goes over the history of Israel – how they started out small like a “tender plant”, then they became a nation, then how when they turned from Elohim, the enemy nations could overtake them and cause them to suffer. In verse 10 we see that the servant(Israel) in the midst of his suffering makes a guilt offering for himself (how could Yeshua do this if he was perfect and sinless?), then he is able to return to God and God promises him that he will see his offspring and to live a long life (both of which Yeshua wasn’t able to do(spiritual descendants do not count)).


  • I enjoyed reading your blog. You are correct about many of your observations. I have come out of Christianity also. I encourage you to prayerfully consider that you are looking through the lenses of Christianity. You used the name Jesus; that name has only been around for 400-500 years. Before that it was Iesous in the 1611 KJV.

    The First Council of Nicaea was convened by Constantine, The of  Creed of Constantinople Church
    “I renounce all customs, rites, legalisms, unleavened breads and sacrifices of lambs of the Hebrews, and all the other feasts of the Hebrews, sacrifices, prayers, aspirations, purifications, sanctifications, and propitiations, and fasts and New Moons, and Sabbaths, and superstitions, and hymns and chants, and observances, and synagogues.  
    Absolutely everything Jewish, every [TORAH] Law, rite and custom and if afterwards I shall wish to deny and return to Jewish superstition, or shall be found eating with Jews, or feasting with them, or secretly conversing and condemning the Christian religion instead of openly confuting them and condemning their vain faith, then let the trembling of Cain and the leprosy of Gehazi cleave to me, as well as the legal punishments to which I acknowledge myself liable. And may I be an anathema in the world to come, and may my soul be set down with Satan and the devils.” Stefano Assemani, Acta Sanctorium Martyrum Orientalium at Occidentalium, Vol. 1, Rome 1748, page 105.
    The scripture in John 5:43 shows what has happened…
    The name of our heavenly Father was removed almost 7000 times. His name and the name of His son is found in 137 names. Please study the prophet’s name. His Son kept the commandments… Yahusha is the reason we can come to our father
    יהוה= YAHUAH
    יהושע= YAHUSHA
    “I am come in my Father’s name, and ye receive me not:
    if another shall come in his own name, him ye will receive.” John 5:43 He is the reason we no longer sacrifice offerings.
    There is a lot more that I would like to share through the scriptures but I do not want this to turn into a dissertation. if you are interested in seeing some of the scriptures and the original Hebrew names along with the Strongs numbers let me know. Blessings, Shelia
    PS I do not belong to any religion; I just follow the Scriptures and seek His truth.

    • Shalom Shelia! I’ve seen other quotes from Emperor Constantine and it’s so crazy that he and many, if not most, of the early church fathers hated the Hebrews and the laws of God so much! I am definitely saving this quote, thank you! And if you have any more interesting quotes or scriptures, feel free to send them to me!

      Concerning the New Testament and Jesus. You are right about the father’s name not being in the NT and that the name Jesus is relatively new. My biggest problem with it is that Elohim never said that he would be sending a savior for us to die for our sins. Every man had to die for his own sins and no one could die on behalf of others (Ezekiel 18). Elohim also hated human sacrifices. He punished us soooo much because of it, namely king Manasseh. Also, we always had the opportunity to talk and communion with Elohim, so there would have been no need for him to sacrifice himself so that we could talk to him again – because we always could!

      And two of the many reasons why we don’t currently offer sacrifices are because 1. we don’t have a temple, the messiah will build the 3rd and final temple, and then the sacrifices will continue (Ezekiel 37 – 45), and secondly because we have been scattered. Elohim said that we would be scattered and wouldn’t have a temple or be able to perform the sacrifices (Hosea 3:4). Even though we are not/ can’t perform them right now, the sacfrices and the feast days are forever(Leviticus 23; Isaiah 66).

      Shalom and God Bless!

  • In Him and through faith in Him we may enter God’s presence with boldness and confidence…So do not throw away your confidence; it holds a great reward.

    • We were always allowed to commune with God, the only place we couldn’t go was to the Holiest of Holiest. We can repent, seek God, and talk with God – we don’t need the Christian messiah in order to do that. My confidence does have a great reward, but it’s placed in Elohim alone, who is my savior, redeemer, and deliverer.

  • …if perfection could have been attained through the Levitical priesthood (for on this basis the people received the law), why was there still need for another priest to appear—one in the order of Melchizedek and not in the order of Aaron? For when the priesthood is changed, the law must be changed as well…For the law is only a shadow of the good things to come, not the realities themselves. It can never, by the same sacrifices offered year after year, make perfect those who draw near to worship. Day after day every priest stands to minister and to offer again and again the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins…But this man, after offering one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down at the right hand of God.

    • Hi David! Hebrews 10 used to be one of my favorite chapters in the Bible, but it goes against the Old Testament. Elohim never said that there would be a change in the priesthood, but just the opposite! He said that the Levitical priesthood would stand forever and that the commandments that he gave to Moses and to the Hebrews would be kept forever. Our sins are forgiven when we ask Elohim for forgiveness and wholeheartedly repent, not believing in the Christian messiah. Shalom!

  • WoW! I have just discovered your page. I was looking for more information on Feast Days…Anyways I am sadden by your interpretation of the NT and Yahusha. I too am leaving the religion of “Christianity” but not Yahusha. I never found His commands to be burdensome. Religion does that. If anything Yahusha frees us (and I don’t mean from the Ten Commandments/Law). I don’t get this idea that I am seeing around where people are saying Yahusha doesn’t want us to follow the commandments! Far from it! If anything He points directly back to it!

    I agree with the other commenters that posted above that you should reconsider your interpretations and not look through the lens of “Christianity”. I don’t want to write a dissertation here but some of the things that you wrote in “Christianity is Harder to Follow” in terms of the teaching of Yahusha and NT scripture seem grossly misinterpreted. The heart is important. “18 But the things that proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart, and those things make the man unholy. 19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, and slander. 20 These are the things that make the man unholy; but to eat with unwashed hands does not make the man unholy.”-Matthew 15:18. Yahusha is teaching the importance of being aware of what is going on on the inside. You can do all the right things (rituals and rules) and still not be right with Yah and your relationship with your fellow bro & sister. If anything Yahusha helps us to keep the Torah. The example that comes to mind when I think of thoughts and the heart-specifically bad thoughts is the example of having a bird fly and land on your head. You can decide to wave the bird off or let it sit and build a nest on your head! Thoughts will come. What we decide to do with them is what matters! You can think on something so much that it ends up pushing you to acting on that thought with your behavior. Also when reading scripture we have to look at the context and what is going on at the time. We have to be careful not to just “isolate” scripture. What was going on at the “specific” time when Yah was speaking to the children of Israel? Was Yah talking about enemy nations coming against His children? What was going on at the time? What was the context of the conversation that was going with Yahusha and the teachers? We have to read what comes before, during and after.

    “17 “Do not think that I came to abolish the Torah or the Prophets! I did not come to abolish, but to fulfill. 18 Amen, I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or serif[b] shall ever pass away from the Torah until all things come to pass. 19 Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others the same, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven. But whoever keeps and teaches them, this one shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you that unless your righteousness exceeds that of the Pharisees and Torah scholars, you shall never enter the kingdom of heaven!” -Matthew 5:17=20

    In terms of the other scriptures you mentioned above about “appearance”. Please prayerfully consider your interpretation. 1 Peter 3:3-4 states “Don’t let your beauty be external—braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Instead let it be in the hidden person of the heart, with the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” It is not saying that you can’t braid your hair or wear nice clothes and jewelry. It is saying don’t let those things “Define” your beauty. That a woman’s beauty is much deeper that her outer appearance. And praise Yah for that! Praise Yah that He values what is on the inside. And honestly at the end of the day isn’t that what is most important? I sure hope so! If not a lot of us are going to be in trouble! The world is the one that puts heavy emphasis on what we look like-both women and men. I am glad Yah cares about my heart/spirit…This is just my personal opinion next: As I have grown in my relationship and understanding of Yah I can see how being “showy” with our appearance in terms of clothes, jewelry, and sometimes even hair can be problematic. We all have to make our own personal judgement within ourselves but I can see how being “showy” in those aforementioned areas can cause another person to stumble in their walk. They may have feelings of envy. Like yes we can wear what we want but at the same time what message are we sending? I remember a sister once tell me that she stopped wearing a very expensive diamond ring because she noticed people treated her differently and she wanted to be more approachable so she stopped wearing it. Now, she didn’t have to do that. It was her ring but she decided to do that in her walk. Like can our appearance put more attention on us rather than Yah? Those are questions we should consider asking ourselves. It doesn’t me we have to dress dowdy but consider what message we are sending. The same can be said of dressing in modest clothing. Can our clothing (or lack thereof) cause a person to stumble? The world says wear whatever you want it is your body…but what would best reflect Yah in us? It is also my belief that Yah does not want us to be objectified like the world does to women (and even men). Also a lot women struggle in their self-confidence/body image because the world puts so much attention on outer appearance: body size, what kind of clothes we wear, etc. As women we can also be too overly focused on our appearance such that it becomes an idol.

    Lastly, What has been your experience with the Ruach Ha’Kodesh? I am assuming here that you have been baptized. His spirit reveals so much truth. Please ask Him for wisdom. He has helped me so much on my journey towards truth. I just wanted to share the following websites that have also been helpful in my study. You may already be familiar with them:


    Truthunedited: https://www.youtube.com/c/Truthunedited https://truthunedited.com/video-page/ History of Religion

    Stephen Darby: https://www.youtube.com/user/sldskd88/videos

    I see Yahusha throughout the OT.

    I wanted to write so much more in response to your blog post here. In my spirit I just feel like your interpretation of scripture is leading you in the wrong direction as others above have eluded to. I can see where reading scripture through the lens of “Christianity” can do that.

    Peace, Blessings, and Truth to you!
    For Yahuah so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.-John 3:16

    • Hi Cassandra! Yes, Jesus did say that he didn’t come to do away with the law but to fulfill it. However, if he is fulfilling the law by dying for our sins, that’s against Torah, and I can’t accept that. According to Elohim and the Old Testament, no one can die in our place for our sins. Every man is to die for their own sins. Every man/woman’s righteousness is their own and it can’t be translated to others.

      I agree the state of our heart is of the uttermost importance. I believe that if we seek after truth with a whole heart, a heart that is truly seeking after the Father, that we will find Him and be on the path of righteousness and eternal life. Shalom!

    • Hi Amanda! Thank you for sending the video, it was an interesting perspective on the whole topic of human sacrifice.

      Yes, there are many verses that say JC freely gave himself up for us, however, there are also many that say God sent the son to the world as a sacrifice for us(1 John 4: 9 – 10; John 3:16; Romans 3:25; Romans 8:32). Whether he was sent or willingly gave himself up for us (which both teachings are in the NT) God still said that human sacrifices are an abomination. He hated it when it was done by His people and punished them severely when they did it(Deuteronomy 12:31; 18:10; Leviticus 18:21; 2 Kings 3:27; 21:6; Jeremiah 7:31).

      Why would God hate something so much then turn around and do it himself and/or accept it on behalf of the entire world? On top of that, God also said that a righteous person can’t die on behalf of a sinner(Ezekiel 18), which is what the NT teaches that JC did. Everyone is responsible for their own sins, but they can repent to Yahweh alone and receive forgiveness(Isaiah 45: 21 – 22; 55:6-7; Ezekiel 18:21-23; 33: 10 – 11; Joel 2: 12 – 14; 1 King 8: 35 – 36).

      God bless you and your family as well!

  • Do you think Yahushua’s allegory to eating his flesh and drinking his blood was a reference to the book of Sirach?: “Those who eat me will hunger for more, and those who drink me will thirst for more.” (Sirach 24:21)

  • I love this. I can’t remember how I ended up here, but I love this honest and intellectual perspective. I can tell from reading it this is something you reflected and studied and wrestled with. It’s incredibly well written. People have been in these comments like they might save you from some horrible decision, which is kind when they likely truly believe you are throwing away salvation, but it is clear you have gained peace and a deeper understanding of Adonai (don’t you just love that there are so many loving and amazing and unique names for G-D?)
    Anyway. I read a few other posts too (great stuff!) And was curious if you had considered converting to Judaism? This is not me trying to get you to or anything, you are honoring Him so beautifully either way and Jews don’t have a monopoly on Adonai or the laws or anything. I ask because I converted and it was really hard to leave Christianity. Everyone I knew was against it (so glad to read this was a family journey for you!) And it has been really nice to celebrate the festivals and Holy Days with other people who worship and celebrate like me. Community and all that. (I also really love the Jewish belief that people who are drawn to the Torah even though they weren’t raised Jewish might have a Jewish soul. That their soul was there when the law was given at Sinai, and that the lost tribes are being drawn back together in community.)

    • Thank you so much for being here Kay and for your kind words! Yes, this is definitely something I wrestled with for a long time, but the evidence was overwhelming! What really did it for me was Isaiah 45: 5-6, it’s still one of my favorite scriptures. 🙂

      I love that God has so many names, they are all so special and represent how He relates to us as His people.

      I’m not sure! I love that the lost tribes are returning to God and to His Torah! I’m so glad you are in a community, it’s so nice to be able to celebrate the feast days with like minded people!

  • Shalom Sister,

    I stumbled across your blog and I have been enjoying it immensely. I also left Christianity and fully embraced our Father Elohim exclusively and His holy word, the Tanach. I had considered converting to Judaism, but I no longer feel the need to do so. I consider myself a Hebrew, one who follows Yehovah Eloheinu melekh ha Olam and strive to follow His holy Torah. Blessings to you and your family for taking this simple yet life altering journey. If you are looking for more like minded followers of Elohim and His Tanach, check out the United Israel World Union (www.unitedisrael.org). Very good stuff. Nevermind the messianics and missionaries who are telling you to follow their human idol and stay with the creator of the universe. Father Yehovah our Elohim is the only savior we need. I have bookmarked your website and I will be a frequent visitor. Thank you for sharing your beautiful testimony and journey with us.

    Shabbat Shalom ve Yom Teruah Sameach.

    • Shalom Michael! Amen amen, thank you so much for reading and your encouragement! It’s always so nice running into people who have walked this same path. I will check it out, thanks. LOL, amen! Yom Teruah Sameach!

  • Hi Zipporah (love your name!).

    Here’s another voice to the “reconsider your decision” group! 🙂 I agree with others, that Christianity has (in general) changed many things, and disregarded Torah obedience to varying degrees. For that reason, I find it difficult to call myself that these days, yet still hold to the Messiah being Yeshua (“Jesus”).

    You have repeatedly mentioned Ezekiel 18 as part of your reason for throwing out the “New Testament” (I’m not a fan of that term). I would tend to look at Ezekiel 18 as talking about physical death (ie, the death penalty or the prolonging of life). I’m not the only one who views the chapter this way, but I truly believe it makes sense. YHWH says that He will curse up to the fourth generation of those who hate Him (Ex 20:5-6). This has somehow got to rectify with Ezekiel, otherwise YHWH is actually going against His prophet’s words!

    Concerning the human sacrifice conundrum, you would be aware that Yeshua said that He would give His life willingly as a “ransom for many” (Matt 20:28). His death was not forced upon Him. It’s interesting to see that the Torah seems to prohibit the forced sacrifice of children to false gods. Yeshua was not forced to sacrifice Himself, He was clearly not a child, and He never went through any part of the process for a false god. Abraham almost sacrificed his son, Isaac, before being stopped at the last second. His willingness to go through this process can be seen, in one sense, that Abraham was giving permission for one of his descendants to be sacrificed. In fact, Abraham said that YHWH “will provide Himself a lamb” (Gen 22:8) This is very prophetic, and the whole shadow picture in this event is amazing when we view Yeshua’s death many centuries later.

    There are other aspects of the human sacrifice issue. What about Samson giving his life to destroy many of the enemy? What about Jonathan – or any other warrior – facing almost certain death, but giving their life for the safety of others? What about Jephthah’s daughter in the book of Judges? (The plain reading is that he sacrificed his daughter – with her full consent.)

    Anyway, many blessings to you and your family. Keep studying, and may YHWH show us all His truth in its fulness!


    • Thank you, Marcus! Lol.

      Ezekiel is referring to an innocent person being punished for the sins of others, which is how the NT presents atonement for the world through JC. This is not possible based on the Old Testament. (The verse is Exodus is referring to continued punishment to people who hate God. The innocent person in Ezekiel is stated as being a righteous and God fearing person, so therefore they wouldn’t be suffering the curse of someone who hates God.)

      It doesn’t really matter if the text says that JC was forced to give up his life or he gave it willing. Based on the Old Testament an innocent person can’t be punished for a guilty person and a human being can’t be a sacrifice. Period.

      Someone dying in a time of war/ conflict(Samson)or on the battle field(Jonathan and others) doesn’t mean they were a human sacrifice, that’s just what happens in war time. They weren’t being offered to a god or idol or anything.

      Whether or not Jephthah’s daughter was sacrificed, the book of Judges doesn’t say that God wanted it to happen. The story basically ends right there without any comment from God.

      God bless!

  • Thank you for sharing Sister, i agree that Jesus is definitely false, yet the Messiah all together is still necessary for salvation. Moreh Davis has helped to put it all perfectly into perspective for me. We can’t keep the law perfectly, and that’s why we need Ha’Machiach. We are still to try, but the old testament demands animal sacrifices continually to wash away our sin, and yet the Isrealites kept falling away time after time. We’re no better than them, and we are going to continue to fall short. We need the Ruach Ha’Qodesh and His Son to redeem us spiritually. I urge you to keep studying, for the sake of your soul. Christianity is lies with a little truth mixed in, that’s how the enemy works, but we should really pray for clarity regarding what is true and what is not, logic isn’t going do it.

    Here’s the video that cleared up alot for me. And if need be, reach out to him with questions, I’m 100% sure he is a mouthpiece of our Heavenly Father.


    • Shalom Tehillah!

      God never asked us to follow the commandments perfectly, He only asked us to follow them with our whole heart (Deuteronomy 6: 3 – 9; Deuteronomy 13:3 – 5; Deuteronomy 10: 12- 13; Joshua 22:5; 1 Samuel 12: 20 – 25), and to return to Him if we stumble(as we will surely do!) just like David. King David was and is the perfect example of someone loving God with all their heart and trying everything in his power to please and honor Him.

      My salvation is in God alone, He is my savior and redeemer. He doesn’t need anyone to redeem us (a son or otherwise) because He can do it Himself. Isaiah 44: 2; Isaiah 45:5 (there is no one beside Him, next to Him, or with Him).

      My righteousness is in doing the laws of God with all my heart not in JC (Deuteronomy 6: 25). Shalom!

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